Me

My family; we are very close. I grew up in the sunny state of Utah, feeling very loved and taken care of.  I have excelled in school first earning my Associates degree from Dixie State College, then my Bachelor's degree from Utah State University. Finally, I moved to Dublin, Ireland to earn my Master's degree from University College Dublin. I had the opportunity to have inspiring teachers throughout my entire academic life, specifically in the Mathematical realm. And it is because of those teachers that I have pursued Mathematics as a career.

If you didn't know any better, you would say my life seems perfect. But with the good comes the bad. The road I have been on has been bumpy and rocky; full of hills, potholes, and quicksand. 

Even though I may have pursued maths, it does not mean that it comes easy to me. In fact it is the complete opposite. It is a daily challenge and I continually have a feeling of doubt that my intellect is strong enough. I do the work. I understand the material. I like working with my professors. But I feel as though I am just getting by. I feel like I am in this pitch black cavern and I am inches away from breaking into the light. It's a fight within myself, telling my doubts that I can do the work and I am good at it. People may ask if it is such a difficulty then why do it? Why put yourself through such challenges when you could do something different, something easy? To be honest I don't know why I continue with it. I guess I have yet to find anything that pushes me as much. 

I have had the amazing experience of living in Ireland for the past year. The time here has become the best time of my life. I have met people that I never thought I would meet. I have friends from all walks of life, from all parts the world. Just walking around the city is a miracle in its own right. Everyday, I cannot believe that I live in this amazing city. Then I go home. Then I realize that my family is no where near. I feel alone. I don't like feeling lonely. I know that I'm not. I know that I have many people surrounding me; friends, roommates, colleagues, etc. I know that I can Skype/call my family anytime I would like and they will be there. But there is some comfort in knowing that your family is in the next room. Somedays are harder than others. Somedays I am perfectly fine, and others... well, others I am not. Those are the days that I get out of my house. I go and see sites I have never seen. I go to museums, art exhibits, farmers markets, down a street I have never been, meet someone new. Anything to get me busy and outside. 

Usually, I just grab my camera and go walk around. I shoot everything that catches my eye. Everything and anything that is different. Photography helps my relax and relieves stresses that I keep on my shoulders. I have recently joined the Gallery of Photography and now have access to their darkroom. It has been years since I have developed my own prints but once I got into that room, I was back home. The dark room is where I am most comfortable. I turn on my music, put on that red light, and the hours just fly by. 

My life is full of ups and downs. It is good and bad, dark and light. I have days when I am spiraling down a dark tunnel and other days where I am on cloud nine. I have a normal life, where nothing is normal.